Over the years, I have realized something that has completely changed my relationships with my pets for the better... If you play nice, generally, so will they. Now, before I had this realization I wasn't being intentionally mean. I doubt most people are. However, I think sometimes pet owners forget to treat their critters with respect. They think too much like a human and not enough like their pet. In my opinion, learning more about your animal and respecting them enough to change the way you treat them can fix the majority of behavior issues you may face. To help you think about this, I will explain how I have changed the way I treat some of my babies.
Learn Proper Handling
This is huge. How you approach and touch an animal can change everything. I do not think most people realize how terrified their pets might be of them at first.
Even if they aren't scared of you, it is important to handle them respectfully to avoid stress, squirming, pinching, and nipping that may occur otherwise. I know if your pet is able to be handled, you are probably excited to get started. However, if you want to have a better relationship, please give them time to trust you and do not rush things. So many people just grab their pet whenever they want to play with them. This does not take the animals wants and needs into consideration. Sometimes the taming process can take awhile and can require patience. Please do not rush things! In general, animals do not want their legs to dangle. Think about it! How would you like to be grabbed around the waist and dangled in the air?
You would struggle too! To improve relations with your pet, look up the best way to hold or move them. Overall, most animals appreciate their legs being supported and prefer to be scooped rather than grabbed. My crab never pinches if I gently scoop him up on my hands, however, he did give me a nasty pinch once when I picked him up by the body and didn't support his legs. Instead of grabbing my rats ( which used to earn me bloody fingers!), I let them walk to me and if I do need to pick them up quickly, I scoop with both hands.
They like me much more now! Some animals don't enjoy being touched, some only in certain places, and some only when they initiate the contact. Pay attention and don't force it. Cats can especially be particular and if you respect them, it can make them like you waaaaay more and be more likely to warm up to you in the future.
Also take note on how firmly to hold the animal. If my leopard geckos (or my cats haha) feel restrained, they freak out! However, if they feel calm and in control, they are fine.
Speak Their Language
This is another one that trips people up. "I screamed no when my cat scratched the couch, why won't he listen? I think he hates me."
Stop thinking so much like a human! If that person did some research they would learn that: A. their cat needs a tall scratching post and B. spanking/spraying/screaming at a cat will only make it dislike you and think you are a scary, unpredictable giant. If kitty is misbehaving, do a little reading and find out the cause and appropriate solutions. The only time I "punish" my cat is when he gets angry and tries to scratch or bite me. In that situation, I will loudly hiss at him (as silly as that sounds) and then he backs off. This is not the same as screaming or any other method because, by hissing, I am speaking his language and responding how another cat would in the situation.
Another example of me learning to speak the language is with my rats. When I first got rats, they bit me a few times. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to hurt and make me afraid of them. I used to yell and pull away. This was not effective. After a little research, I realized they were just "tasting" me, sort of like a toddler explores the world by putting things in their mouth. To combat the biting that hurt, I began to give a high pitched squeak when they nibbled a little too hard, just like they would do to each other. Immediately, they became more gentle.
Learn About Their Preferences/ Lives in the Wild
Finally, to better respect your pet and improve relations, you need to realize where they are coming from. Most of my pets react negatively when approached from above. At first, I assumed they were unfriendly. After looking into it a bit more, I realized that in the wild, their greatest threats come from above.
If I approach from the side or underneath, I get more calm interactions that are positive for both of us.
When I had red claw crabs, I was hesitant to provide numerous hiding places because I was afraid I would never get to see them. This was faulty thinking. In reality, when I provided adequate hiding spots, I actually saw more activity because the crabs felt safe enough to come out- knowing they could hide if they needed to in the future.
I've seen many people get nipped by a hamster they were trying to wake up.
Take into account the sleeping patterns of your pet... everyone is grumpy when they are sleep deprived and groggy!
Take the time to understand the species so you can accommodate their needs better and keep them from becoming stressed out. Hopefully this helps you have better relationships with your pets and can take some stress out of life for both of you! Let me know if you have any questions or tips to add!
